Life is Sailing

The pyramid from the sixties told a story that Maslow never meant to tell; a story of achievement, of mastering level by level until you’ve “won” the game of life. But that is most definitely not the spirit of self-actualization that the humanistic psychologists emphasized. The human condition isn’t a competition; it’s an experience. Life isn’t a trek up a summit but a journey to travel through—a vast blue ocean, full of new opportunities for meaning and discovery but also danger and uncertainty. In this choppy surf, a clunky pyramid is of little use. Instead, what is needed is something a bit more functional. We’ll need a sailboat.
 
As we sail through the adventure of life, it’s rarely clear sailing. The boat itself protects us from seas that are rarely as calm as we’d like. Each plank of the boat offers security from the waves. Without it, we’d surely spend all our energy trying to stay above water. While even one plank is better than nothing, the bigger the boat, the more waves you can endure. Likewise in life, while safety is an essential foundation for feeling secure, adding on strong connections with others and feelings of respect and worthiness will further allow you to weather the storms.
Having a secure boat is not enough for real movement, however. You also need a sail. Without a sail, you might be protected from water, but you wouldn’t go anywhere. Each level of the sail allows you to capture more wind, helping you explore and adapt to your environment.
 
Note that you don’t “climb” a sailboat like you’d climb a mountain or a pyramid. Instead, you open your sail, just like you’d drop your defenses once you felt secure enough. This is an ongoing dynamic: you can be open and spontaneous one minute but can feel threatened enough to prepare for the storm by closing yourself to the world the next minute. The more you continually open yourself to the world, however, the further your boat will go and the more you can benefit from the people and opportunities around you. And if you’re truly fortunate, you can even enter ecstatic moments of peak experience—where you are really catching the wind. In these moments, not only have you temporarily forgotten your insecurities, but you are growing so much that you are helping to raise the tide for all the other sailboats simply by making your way through the ocean. In this way, the sailboat isn’t a pinnacle but a whole vehicle, helping us to explore the world and people around us, growing and transcending as we do.
 

- Scott Barry Kaufman, Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization, 2020

Shaky Foundation of Self-realization

In my career it has become clear that the more we have limiting notions of potential that are dictated by others (schoolteachers, parents, managers, etc.), the more blind we become to the full potential of each and every unique individual and their own unique path to self-actualization and transcendence. My research has convinced me that we all have extraordinary creative, humanitarian, and spiritual possibilities but are often alienated from them because we are so focused on a very narrow slice of who we are. As a result, we aren’t fulfilling our full potential. We spend so much time looking outward for validation that we don’t develop the incredible strengths that already lie within, and we rarely take the time to fulfill our deepest needs in the most growth-oriented and integrated fashion.
 
Indeed, so many people today are striving for “transcendence” without a healthy integration of their other needs—to the detriment of their full potential. This ranges from people who expect a mindfulness retreat or yoga class to be a panacea for their traumas and deep insecurities, to spiritual “gurus” abusing their positions of power, to the many instances of vulnerable people (especially vulnerable young people) seeking unhealthy outlets for transcendence, such as violent extremism, cults, and gangs.
 
We also see this at play among the many divisions we see in the world today. While there is a yearning to be part of a larger political or religious ideology, the realization of this yearning is often built on hate and hostility for the “other,” rather than on pride and deep commitment for a cause that can better humanity. In essence, there is a lot of pseudo-transcendence going on, resting on a “very shaky foundation.”
 

- Scott Barry Kaufman, Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization, 2020

From Healthy Self-realization to Transcendence

During Maslow’s later years, he became increasingly convinced that healthy self-realization is actually a bridge to transcendence. Many of the individuals he selected as self-actualizing people experienced frequent moments of transcendence in which awareness was expanded beyond the self, and many of them were motivated by higher values. At the same time, Maslow observed that these individuals had a deep sense of who they were and what they wanted to contribute to the world.
 
This created a deep paradox for Maslow: How could so many of his self-actualizing individuals simultaneously have such a strong identity and actualization of their potential, yet also be so selfless? In a 1961 paper, Maslow observed that self-actualization seems to be a “transitional goal, a rite of passage, a step along the path to the transcendence of identity. This is like saying its function is to erase itself.”
 
Maslow believed that striving toward self-actualization—by developing a strong sense of self and having one’s basic needs met—was a crucial step along this path. As he wrote in his 1962 book Toward a Psychology of Being: “Self-actualization . . . paradoxically makes more possible the transcendence of self, and of self-consciousness and of selfishness.”
 

- Scott Barry Kaufman, Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization, 2020

Discipleship (2):Ask the Right Questions to Yourself

1. God, how can you be this good, to adopt me when I’m still unsorted? Practice the discipline of consciously receiving the new identity that comes from adoption. This may not come naturally to you, and you might need to really practice it! But by practicing, we can start doing away with the belief that we have to earn something to be “in.”

2. How am I doing loving the people whom God has placed in my life? What do you notice? What thoughts come up when you consider this question? Where is Jesus out ahead of you, having prepared good works in advance, that you should walk in them like Ephesians 2:8-9 describes? Where and how, this week, is Jesus calling you to love your friends and neighbors in concrete, practical terms?

3. Jesus, what are you speaking to me through your Holy Spirit? Learn to discern how you hear the leading of the Holy Spirit, as you read Scripture and as you listen for his whisper in everyday life. Try to make your response as concrete as possible. If, for example, you sense a need for more rest and greater margin in your life, don’t just say, “I’m going to live slower,” but rather, “I’m going to take three slow, prayerful walks around my neighborhood this week.” The more specific and concrete, the more helpful it is! 

- Bill Hull & Brandon Cook, The False Promise of Discipleship, 2019 

Discipleship (1): Asking the Three Questions in A Small Group

1. The First Question: “How are you experiencing God’s goodness?” This provides space to keep people grounded in an awareness of God’s love, grace, and provision. It’s a way of considering God’s nearness, even in the midst of great challenges. If people are willing to be open and honest about their soul and the suffering they might be walking through, the results can be connectedness and empathy and a mutual sharing of one another’s burdens.

2. The Second Question: “How’s it going with loving the people Jesus has given you to love?” We have very specific categories for these groups, including loved ones (that is, family and friends), spiritual family (that is, our brothers and sisters in Christ), and our neighbors (that is, those around us). Asking the question, “How are you doing loving others?” is the best question for spiritual transformation that lines us up with the mission and heart of Jesus.

3. The Third Question: "What is Jesus speaking to you, and how will you respond this week?” By asking this question with two parts, we place a value on action that goes beyond mere reflection. We coach people toward specificity so that responding in the week ahead is clear and specific, not vague or ambiguous.

- Bill Hull & Brandon Cook, The False Promise of Discipleship, 2019 

The Way to Discipleship

The Jesus way is not only a message for those considering Christ as the answer to the human crisis. It is an explanation of what he is calling every person to do. It is not ambiguous; it requires a faith that gets your legs moving, your mind and heart engaged in learning and obeying. The way of Christ is the way of the disciple (Luke 14:27, 33). Salvation by discipleship alone expects all those called to salvation to follow, learn from, and obey Jesus throughout their lives—no exceptions, no excuses.
 

The only man who has the right to say that he is justified by grace alone is the man who has left all to follow Christ. Such a man knows that the call to discipleship is a gift of grace, and that the call is inseparable from the grace.

 - DIETRICH BONHOEFFER, THE COST OF DISCIPLESHIP

Salvation is by discipleship alone. It is time to wrestle with what that means. That begins with a basic principle: The only way you will experience the fullness of your salvation is through your own discipleship to Christ. Salvation can only be lived through discipleship, and if you don’t live it, you don’t have it. 

 - Bill Hull & Brandon Cook, 

The Cost of Cheap Grace: Reclaiming the Value of Discipleship, 2020.

Discipleship is A State of Being

If we replace the word grace in “salvation by grace alone” with discipleship, we have an entirely different discussion. A disciple is a person who has chosen to position themselves as Jesus’ student or follower. Discipleship is a state of being created by the work of the Holy Spirit combined mysteriously with the human will.
 
Critics object to an emphasis on discipleship because it often functions as shorthand for an individual’s personal growth into Christlikeness. They worry about an inbred understanding of Christian maturity that functions at odds with the great commission. They prefer to emphasize “disciple making” over discipleship. We will set aside the question of whether you can be truly Christlike and not make disciples. But it’s highly doubtful that any significant movement of God has been inhibited by referring to discipleship rather than disciple making. Reasons for the great commission being diminished in the contemporary Christian imagination run much deeper than word choice. You can’t find a church that honors Christ’s words that would not agree that making disciples of all nations is crucial. They have had the language right, but they have used the right language wrongly. The church of cheap grace makes disciples, but the disciples they make are by and large practicing a watered-down, broadened-out discipleship, such that just about anything a church does hits the target.
 
Making new disciples is the starting point for multiplication and the fulfillment of Christ’s mandate to reach the world. In Matthew 28:18-20, the centerpiece of the great commission is the command to “make disciples.” The critics are right both about the priority given by Jesus to disciple making in his gospel, and about the failures of the contemporary church in making disciples. For our discussion, however, making disciples is inherent to discipleship: It is part of our ongoing interaction with Christ, learning from him and participating in his mission.
 
When we use the phrase “salvation by discipleship alone,” we mean that there is only one way to fully experience your salvation, and that is via a lifetime of discipleship to Christ. Everyone who is called to salvation is called to discipleship—no exceptions, no excuses.
 

- Bill Hull & Brandon Cook, 

The Cost of Cheap Grace: Reclaiming the Value of Discipleship, 2020.