Forgiveness is Not Unconditional

Conflicts are not resolved when misdeeds are overlooked—the hurts continue to ache and the relationships continue to decay. As forgiveness enthrones justice, to make harmony genuine, both parties should discuss the issues in depth with one another so that they can confess, repent, and reconcile with substance.
 
As Western culture has become increasingly individualized, the importance of a moral context has been trivialized and forgiveness has often been reduced to passive forbearance. It is only when moral values and virtues are central to the meaning of personhood that the importance of forgiveness is appreciated. Augsburger writes: “Authentic forgiveness is that cluster of motivations which seeks to regain the brother and the sister in reconciliation.… The courage to forgive is an excellency of character, a virtue that enables one to act in restoration of personal relationships, to risk in reconstruction of social networks, to commit oneself to live in moral integrity.” Forgiveness demands the moral virtues of justice, fairness, love, mercy, repentance, and reconciliation.
 
In Christian tradition, repentance and reconstruction of right relationship are central to the process of forgiveness. According to Augsburger, repentance should consist of three dimensions: remorse, restitution, and renewal. Remorse, when accompanied by a full detailed discussion of the issues, is a genuine sorrow. Restitution is an attempt by the offender to restore what was destroyed, again, when accompanied by full discussion. Renewal is a change in life direction, with the offender not only repudiating past behavior but affirming a new principle of moral action is needed. 

Forgiveness is the mutual recognition that repentance is intended, embraced, and pursued. Forgiveness is not unconditional. Augsburger writes: “Love may be unconditional, forgiveness is not.… The familiar teaching of unconditional, unilateral forgiveness is not forgiving but a return to loving.… Forgiveness … recognizes the complexity of reopening the future in risk, restoring relationship in trust, and recreating the nature of that alliance in justice.” Thus, forgiveness without repentance and reconciliation is incomplete; it is simply love for one’s enemy and a willing heart to forgive.

- John C. W. Tran, Authentic Forgiveness: A Biblical Approach, 2020.