Authentic Forgiveness Comprises Repentance and Acceptance

Authentic forgiveness, in both the Hebrew and Christian Scriptures, is an interpersonal transaction of the offender offering genuine repentance and the offended recognizing and accepting that repentance resulting in reconciliation of the broken relationship. Repentance—consisting of remorse, restitution, and renewal—and reconciliation of broken relationships are central to the process of authentic forgiveness. This is illustrated in the story of Joseph and his brothers, the parable of the prodigal son, and in the exhortations of Leviticus 6:1–7; Matthew 5:23–24; 18:15–17, and Luke 17:3–4.

In the story of the prodigal son, the younger son was filled with remorse as he confessed that he had sinned against heaven and against his father. His restitution and renewal came when he felt contrition and asked for nothing but to be a slave to serve his father. Reconciliation occurred when the father, following the son’s repentance, welcomed his lost son with full honor. Since authentic forgiveness should comprise both repentance and reconciliation, it is incomplete if there is repentance but no reconciliation. The central motif of biblical forgiveness sees reconciliation as its goal. Augsburger points out, “Authentic forgiveness is that cluster of motivations which seeks to regain the brother and the sister in reconciliation … The courage to forgive is an excellency of character, a virtue that enables one to act in restoration of personal relationships, to risk in reconstruction of social networks, to commit oneself to live in moral integrity.” 

Authentic forgiveness, offered by victims to their offenders, takes its final step when victims reconnect with those who have hurt them. Authentic forgiveness requires one party to repent and the other party to extend grace to the repentant one with both trust and respect. When there is mutual recognition that both repentance and acceptance are genuine and the broken relationship is reconstructed, authentic forgiveness occurs. The victim discovers that the strange chemistry of reconciliation can heal the wound until nothing remains but the remembered scar with a transformed meaning. Such forgiveness results in a deeper and stronger healing and union than before. 

- John C. W. Tran, Authentic Forgiveness: A Biblical Approach, 2020.