To “forgive” those who hurt us without genuine repentance by the offender is not true forgiveness. Augsburger writes that it is how a person finds “a mystery of a forgiving heart while the other person in the drama goes another way.” Augsburger writes that a victim’s forgiving heart is focused on an inner battle between raging against the offender and letting go and being healed. This forgiving heart is only the first step of Jesus’s teaching about true forgiveness. It is the “love of our neighbors” and the “love of our enemies” which together form the foundation of forgiveness. Forgiveness requires going beyond the forgiving heart and inviting repentance, risking the self in restoring the relationship. Seeing the other person as having real worth again and seeking to restore perceptions of love are the two feet required in order to walk toward forgiving.
True forgiveness is a process, and this process begins with taking whatever steps possible “toward attempting to restore, reconstruct, and rediscover a relationship.” Jesus commanded his disciples to go to the other person to rebuke, to forgive, and to reconcile (Matt 5:23–24; 18:15, 21–35; Luke 17:3).
Authentic forgiveness cannot happen without a forgiving heart. But a willingness to forgive demonstrates courage, for the victim must fight an inner battle to overcome anger and let God bring healing. This forgiving heart is the first step in Jesus’s teaching about forgiveness. This forgiving heart is the first step in Jesus’s teaching about forgiveness. It is part of loving your “enemies” (Matt 5:38–45; Luke 6:27–28) as well as loving your “neighbor” (Matt 22:39).
- John C. W. Tran, Authentic Forgiveness: A Biblical Approach, 2020.
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